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20 Ways to take revenge on a Narcissist

* I generally write using the pronouns he/him when referring to narcissists, but females are just as likely to be narcissists or exhibit narcissistic traits. So please don't think just because article uses the word him or he that it could not a woman in that same role.

There’s an old cliche that “the best revenge is living well.” In reality, this is only true when the person you want revenge on is a narcissist. Because they truly cannot stand to know you’re living well without them in your life.

You might say, “What a bloody lame answer! It wouldn’t bug me one bit if someone I fell out with was living well without me!!” And that’s because you’re not a narcissist.

To get “revenge” on them you need to think like they do. They are insecure, petty, self-loathing people who project their own insecurities on to others. “Living well” is not something they want to see you do.

And in order to live well without a narcissist in your life, you will need to establish the No Contact Rule with them — and stick to it. Live your life as though they never existed, refraining from any and all contact.

True, you don’t get to see the narcissist twitch and squirm, but if you were ever a valued source of supply to them, believe me, they are definitely twitching and squirming.

If you need a crisis hotline or want to learn more about therapy, please see below:

For more information on mental health, please see:

The best Ways to take revenge on a Narcissist

1. Do not take any revenge at all.

Let them be who they are,because taking revenge from an immature kid makes you as narcissistic as they are.

2. Walk Away

Walk away from them completely, going full No Contact (cutting everything off including their number and social media networks).

3. Do not allow them to contact you on anything.

They know your weaknesses no matter what they will manipulate you again and drag you to the game,if they manipulated you since day 1 they will again do it no problem.

4. Ignore Them.

If you see them on the road, the are Lord Voldemort to you,they don’t exist on your dictionary,they are dead people thin air to you,ignore them completely and walk away.

5. If you allowed the option for them to Hoover and they already did, ignore them completely.

That will drive them mad,when you ignore them you don’t do it to get them mad but you do it for your own good and safety.

6. Don’t Beg

Do not beg or plead for them to take you back. Apologize to yourself profusely for letting them abuse you,you deserve self love,self respect,self value.

7. Be Mature

Be the mature one to learn to walk away from toxic people in your life,no matter how hard it is you should learn that.

8. Don’t try to save them.

You are no one to save them,neither help them or change them,we have professionals to do that thing,and you ain’t one.

9. Realize that love means.

You say i love him,you should always remember that mature love is built on respect, value, care and love,not codependency and rescuing people so they can love you,you ain’t mother Mary neither an Angel from God to rescue someone,if it means you will ruin your whole life and be enslaved to them.

10. Make peace with yourself.

Make peace with your inner self and mind,convince yourself that you got lied and manipulated,the person you knew never existed it was just an illusion presented by them.

11. Don’t chase revenge.

Fight with your inner self no matter how bad you try to take revenge stop yourself, because the revenge will only hurt you not them,they possess no Empathy neither do they care,the revenge will turn you to a terrible person someone that you are not basically to them,leave them be because they are immature kids,you can’t take revenge from a kid that slapped you,because that makes you as narcissistic as them and as immature as them.

12. Do not trust them

They are Con Artists even if they promise they will change,because they won’t, a person that lied you once and manipulated you once will always do it no matter what.

13. Spend time with friends

Go outside spend time with your friends,enjoy your life that’s the best revenge that you can give them, basically not caring at all,showing them that you can continue without them.

Show them that you took your life back, you got successful with your life, you are an independent person standing on your legs,and your whole self worth ain’t dependent on them, life is too beautiful and short to feed yourself with hate or revenge for someone (no matter what they did, because it shows immaturity).

If you need a crisis hotline or want to learn more about therapy, please see below:

For more information on mental health, please see:

14. Remember they are not your friend

Convince yourself that they ain’t your friends, neither an enemy to deserve an revenge from you, you don’t give revenge to someone that has no value on your eyes, you don’t take revenge from thin air, because they ain’t worth of your energy neither of your valuable time.

15. Love Yourself

Learn to love yourself again,taking your esteem back,include yourself with positive people who make you laugh and spend the best time of your life with them.

16. Don’t repeat your mistakes

Always follow up this code in life, if someone breaks your trust once they will always do it, you leave without arguing or confronting when they do, always follow up this quote-

’’Fool me once shame on you,fool me twice shame on me.”

17. Overcome withdrawl

You will go through hard withdrawal symptoms,you will burn your brain and body seeking revenge that’s normal, do not give up, do not give yourself up, take it as you are in a rehab, because if you do they will win,if you learn to walk away ’’They might have won a few battles but you will win the war in the end’’

18. Count your blessings

Stay blessed because good things are waiting for you on the future,God gives us the people that we need not the ones that we want, if he removed this toxic person from your life he knew why he did it, what comes from God always remember that is most welcomed,if you go against his will you will hurt yourself and no one else.

19. Don’t be a doormat

Learn to never share your Empathy with the wrong people, being nice to someone that deserves it is cool, but that does not mean that you should be someones doormat, give people what they deserve if they don’t deserve your words you feed them your silence.

20. Recognize that you escaped hell.

Once you disconnect form this person once and for all you take everything back, his/her hoover will be not welcomed at all,you will learn that you did yourself a big favor and that was the best decision you took for your life, you will learn that God blessed you with the most difficult test in your life and you passed it without a problem,you will come back in here, being surprised laughing your ass off.

Telling yourself that I can’t believe I wasted so much of my energy and time to take revenge from this worthless person, convince yourself that the best revenge that you will take from them is standing up for yourself and moving forward with your life, they don’t deserve your anything,including your revenge.

29 thoughts on “20 Ways to take revenge on a Narcissist”

  1. I absolutely believe all this I would like to see an article from this person on people that have children with narcissists b/c it is quite difficult and different to not be able to detach completely and depending on who has custody of the children can be a ln absolute nightmare!!!

    1. Yup. My ex is a full blown and never realized my adult daughter followed in his footsteps.

      I want my daughter to tell me to my face why she ‘hates’ me. AND does she want me in her life, she is 30.

      She gaslit me and twisted everything to all about her.

      Oh did i mention, i want this meeting at a restaurant so there will be witnesses. She refused.

      I mean, really if you go around saying you hate your mother to other family members- , do tell what Mom did and hash it out.

      I m prepared to hear the worst. And she balks? She has got nothing but her true manipulative, insecure, pathetic, entitled, gaslighting ways.

      She will be a spinster, sad and lonely and, hopefully, never procreate.

      Her N was enhanced by her father who is a full blown N. Sadly, i did not realize until way too late and stayed in marriage to make sure my daughter got to college not realizing or knowing what damage was done.

      So yes, i want to know about how to deal with N when it is your own child.

      I have been in therapy for the last 10 years, realizing that i was victimized by my N. and have emotional issues only to ve greatly preyed upon and made worse by the victimization.

      This is their Heaven on Earth – most are afraid to die… yup, agree there, i couldn’t even dream of meeting my maker knowing the harm i caused another for fun!!!

      I hope they go out kicking and screaming.

  2. Narcissists are the helpers of Satan. Congratulations if you realized the truth. My parents abused me emotionally. They destroyed my life almost. They would take my money, my cars, my time. To the point I would be so poor helping them. Then while I am poor and they have my wealth, they would make fun of me! How I am poor and not successful. I ended up saving my money secretly and bought a house for me, my wife, and kids. My parents are even more mad at me now! I don’t know why and I am starting not to care either! They can go burn in hell when they die. They sabotaged me, and the creator of the universe saved my rear end. My parents would still try to come over everyday and call me trying to find out how much my house cost and they started making up lies that I owe them money from the past. I gave them $5,000.00 cash and they went away for a few days and then came back asking for more saying I owe them another amount for something they forgot to mention the first time. Im about to tell them to their face “May G_D curse you. You Rabid Dogs of Hell. May G_D destroy you. You Animals!” So greedy, so dishonest, no empathy. How dare they. The sad part is that my dad is a minister at church. What a hypocrite.

    1. Wow. My stepfather is just like that. And it took me many years but I came to same conclusion as you did: narcissists are doing Satan’s work. Even Jesus said the same of the Pharisees (the narcissists of his day). What finally allowed me to see the Satanic nature in my stepfather was the way his abuse got more and more out of hand – it felt more and more like a desire to destroy me in every way possible. That’s when I finally realized he’s an enemy sent by Satan.

    2. Oh my god you said it perfectly. Satan’s Spawn is who has stalked me and destroyed my life, We’ve all seen what we perceive as evil. But true evil on a level of a nuclear bomb who is completely lacking all of the positive traits you and targets you because they want those traits. They cannot FEEL anything but gimme gimme gimme. Worse yet, if they know you are living in your own home, which you paid for not rent, good luck as the target simple can’t walk away and move out. Because it’s your house! Yes, expect violence if you are assertive, confident, and push back or resist. A general restraint order (cost me $60,000) or a criminal protective order issued on your behalf by a judge, for free, means absolutely nothing to them. Jail? Ha! That’s where they’re easily able to take a leadership position based upon control. Plus, bonus for them, free meals, housing, a bed, jail moonshine made with spit, apples, and bread with added water, is one of the strongest forms of alcohol so they get to keep drinking (or drugging – inmates get stuff smuggled in via the strangest means – acid or LSD coated postcards or photos for starters), because many os Satan’s Spawn have serious substance abuse problems which are unbelievably weird and scary. And jail is zero obligations to keep up the mimic facade. They can fully be the toxic ass they are, it’s actually a relief for them. Three Squares, housing, zip obligations. Add this to immense amount of debt they manage to get you into, the totaled cars with voila oops it ends up they don’t have insurance. There goes $20,000 because Satan’s Spawn absolutely will find your well hidden wallet and car keys, use your debit card as a credit card zero PIN required. And Jail? That’s our tax dollars still paying for their actual survival, a place to live and all meals. They work super hard to hoover the crap out of people and perceived as exceptionally fun and dynamic. Able to get people revved up to engage in really weird very risky and inappropriate stuff they normally wouldn’t. They have zero respect for personal boundaries. They simply want to own the innately positive traits you have. They hide in plain sight. Satan’s Spawn cannot feel the way non-narcissistic people do. At all. No remorse, regret, fear, nothing. They do fear one thing. Getting booted out of your life. Which for me ended up costing more than $250,000. For starters. I sold my house and moved to another city, but thanks to technology a 5 year old can find you in less than a minute on the internet. They violate orders constantly, are adept at breaking into your home without “break-in”. Because all locks have a really easy way to disassemble and that’s all over the internet, Plus. A sliding glass door is easily open by literally lifting it upwards off the track. Cameras and alarms? Pointless, By the time police get to your house Satan is done with it, and bullying/violent tactics. Over time, they’ve spent an enormous amount of energy learning to mimic what is considered dynamic, outgoing, happy, on and on. They keep it up for a very LONG time, if you are really smart, have an incredible memory and call them out on the lies. The better you get at staying three steps ahead, of the game, and who you are all your excellent traits you possess combined with intelligence I=truly is just game to them. They want to win at all cost, no holds barred. Satan’s Spawn was arrested 16 times in five years. And connived people to contact me, as well as convince someone to drive them to your house. And get in via all of the above. God forbid you need fresh air, can’t leave a ground floor window open. Expect that a huge chunk of your money will be spent on their drug of choice (mostly alcohol), cost me $1,500 a month. The idiot bought it at one of two actual mini mart expansive amounts of liquor store. You’ll find empty shot bottles in the weirdest places (no, not the toilet tank), As well as their “stash”. Alcohol truly brings out the violent destructive wildly abusive demon in the. This is what happens after they’ve kept up the play acting at being a real normal person, and established in your live plus usually your home (hey it’s free for them, they always manage to lose their job, plus don’t give a rats behind about your home and things…expect mass destruction in the oddest ways), at that point they’re exhausted with playing pretend as for them it takes a ton of energy it, plus they begin to lose track of the enormous number of alternate reality lies. Flip EVERY story Satan ever tells you, which is never a conversation, they are lengthy damn monologue in which they are super hyper excited, if you interject while they’re preaching you get the silent treatment like you’re eight years old. And then begin again. In every stupid story, which get incredibly weird, those are always true however they are always the hero the winner etc. In reality land? Satan’s Spawn is the villain who did it all. It’s a guarantee you’ll hear the same freaking overly detailed and whack job wildly in depth stories, which largely involve their most idealized time period – High School and University, so often that the bullcrap Satan so emphatically and repeatedly monologues that you quite quickly know them by heart like an annoyingly bad commercial or crappy song stuck in your head. To boot, sure you can get them arrested for hitting you. Getting them the hell OUT of your home even while they serve months of jail time? You have to go to CIVIL COURT and pay a minimum o $60,000 to get an eviction. Which takes and incredibly long time. And the order gives them leeway deadlines of up to six months. Lather, rinse, repeat. Remember that there absolutely is nothing wrong with you, in fact you have exceptional qualities they are highly envious of. It’s merely a prolonged game of checkers if you apply super smart qualities. And then one day after you’ve gone stone cold I don’t care (aka biding time until they spin out), they pull a completely irrational very permanent stupid stunt (blackmail and extortion), which removes them from your residence completely. But the game doesn’t end. They con people into calling to “check in on you why don’t I bring you some soup”, plus, dozens upon dozens of texts or emails. They’re stuck with themselves. Often no job and they only have wary fringe friends though a handful of Satan Sibling’s more than willing to join the team. Suddenly, they’re stuck. And ALONE. Above all, they have several fatal flaws. They loathe themselves meaning beyond insecure and afraid to be alone as they loathe how they managed to screw up their big game. Do not succumb to emotions rooted in “why me? What’s wrong with me?”. Ever. Sure,. cry at the overwhelming catastrophic mess as well as bills they tossed which accrued incredibly huge penalties on…for example. Cry about the stuff they broke and had zero regards for because its all a giant pain in the butt. Maybe sort of cry about the wasted time their elaborate though stupidly simply version of never ending checkers. But never succumb to self pity. They target you because of all of your dynamic traits. Everything positive about you, which they utterly lack. In the end one is a smarter, stronger and even more incredibly dynamic person. Plus, one’s innate nope that’s my boundary line gets razor wired. One becomes incredibly assertive in rational though extremely firm ways, which aren’t treating but your assertiveness expressed sternly and rationally becomes so firm it scares people. Embrace all of that, your survival skills. And despite the often huge number of years it took to get them to spin out and wipe away the game? To make their own utterly fatal flaw? I did eight years of all of this. Sure, it was often brutal. However, I honor the strengths and positive skills I gained in this epically awful narrative that the Lifetime channel specializing in messed up con shows would absolutely reject because its “unbelievable”. The very real story of the first season of Dirty John, a case ending in the woman’s daughter getting stalked and stabbed by a Satan Spawn’s target daughter happened literally minutes away from me. In Newport Beach and Irvine, California. Know that you are stronger for all of it. Know that it’s not about you, it’s THEM. They want your positive traits and if you hold them tightly to you they get envious and resentful. Absolutely nobody is responsible for filling a void someone has, being their supply of all that is good about a person. It’s and intense education, look upon it as a form of University plus a Master’s and PhD. An incredible full immersion into the depths of sociopathic narcissistic psychosis. You’re stronger for it all, smarter. Embrace yourself for in the end WE are the winners.

  3. Your story touched me im sorry for this may GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY sometimes the people we are suppose to love the in world are the most dangerous its sad but true. Have a great and healthy life

  4. I love that you have taken your experience and decided to advocate. I am only giving much needed advice if you are going to continue to do this . I do not know your education nor your background but i believe you need to focus more on the science behind the abuse and not your personal opinion of you want to successfully help the fight against narc abuse. . I understood you probably got a lot of education of narcissists online and can quote dozens but I am not going to lie it struck a nerve hearing you say people would be a bad person if seeking revenge and it was “ immature “. You have to understand we are hard wired to want to exact revenge on a narcissist. It’s a PRIMAL INSTINCT to want to exact revenge when we’re wronged. And that’s just wronged . Add in the complex nature of Narcissistic abuse and all the co-diagnosis that go with it , each person’s dynamics , health conditions, children or not with or without the narc, and the amount of abuse / how evil in nature ect. . If you need any help feel free to email me at 15sugarmaple@gmail.com. I wish you and your family many blessings and keep growing !

  5. I was living with a narcissist (kristin hartwigs) for 7 years! She beat me down to my lowest and I am in fact still trying to recover! I’m worried that the damage may be permanent and the kicker is she tries to tell everyone that I am a narcissist and it’s actually using the 20 ways to get revenge on a narcissist against me ! I truly did love this woman and I thought you did love me but she had me fooled for seven years I never even knew what A narcissist wise until now east description of one it’s her to a T!! You could probably put her picture in front of the definition of narcissist! She has taken my self-esteem do an all time low I’m trying to get it back if anybody has any suggestions I’d love to hear them

  6. I have a narcissist in my life. Unfortunately when she was “love bombing” me, I couldn’t see it. So like an idiot almost 20 years ago I bought a time share in Aruba and let her and her spouse split the two bedroom with me. I was the only one with credit so I’m the one that officially bought the timeshare. She eventually started telling all our friends on the beach’s bunch of lies about my husband and I. I actually talked another close friend that I trusted to buy a time share in Aruba so I had a dependable friend down there. The narcissist quickly got close to my best friend and now my best friend won’t even talk to me and actually called me a drug addict when I asked her why she wasn’t talking to me. So I lost another friend of 20 years. I just can’t believe my friend that knew me so well would call me a druggieThis is the type of mental abuse I have to deal with. I just can’t believe how venomous she is. But I’m just going to keep living a happy life which will drive her pathetic mind crazy!! She is truly vile. Worst relationship I ever encountered!!

  7. I couldn’t agree more. Last email I sent to this worthless person is thank him for ending as today I look at my current husband and realize how lucky I am. Not only is he a narcissistic but also racist person. He is British from small town Cirencester. I count my blessings every day.

  8. This narc , is taking advantage of my kindness . I want to get revenge by being strong enough to put him out of my house. This one way love is taking to much of my phsyky. . He has a smear campaign with new supply that does somersaults and I will not go to the level of neither one of them. He is around bc he takes care of me occasionally. I am at the brink of calling this whole mess off. U have contacted the sheriff who says it’s illegal to change the locks. He is always looking for a place yet never finds one. He will treat me good and then he tells the biggest lies and tears up the highway for new supply .. It’s like a merry go round and then he will come in again and treat me nice! Who does that?

  9. I am still baffeld over this . I am learning this and I absolutely feel like I have been violated in the worst way. I feel very dirty, like as if all of the gaslightING he has done to me has made me ill. Like full I’ve got an infection. I swear , I don’t know how I’m supposed to think act or proceed in daily activities or routines until I know in what mood i am supposed to have. My day is based on what he gives me

    1. You are not alone. As per a psychiatrist, my husband is a narcissist & is also antisocial. My 55 year old sister is as well. Stay strong. Detach yourself. Stop being the narcissists doormat & scapegoat. Don’t waste your time trying to talk rationally with them & don’t share your feelings with them because they want to upset you = they win. Narcissists won’t take responsibility for their actions & will continue to lie, belittle, bully & trash talk you because they are miserable & envy your pure kind spirit and your success. Keep letting your love shine with those who reciprocate your kindness. You are worthy of being loved & deserve like friends. There are healthy choice friends out there whom you can enjoy quality time with. It takes time to find a small handful of kind friends. But, there are so many unhappy abused people in our universe searching for a few people to connect with. Remind yourself if the very worst thing happens to you which may be a huge financial set back, you will be better off & CAN find a way to make it & your life will be more peaceful without the abuse. Life is so short. Block out the narcissists abuse. Make your peaceful state of mind a high priority. Take care, stay strong & please remember, you are not alone.

  10. Uh what is an entire group of people , whom I believed were my “friends” who are come to find out not only narcissistic all of them in nature as well as a crime ring?? Called?
    Needless to say , I don’t believe I will escape the swarm of these soul sucking villains , with my life left. I’m isolated and monitored. Now with no money or car either .

  11. I married a narcissistic, and I didnt know this at first. We have no contact, which is great, but I want out of the relationship. And I cant afford the expense of getting a lawyer, I want out really of this situation badly. He has smeared my name, for no apparent reason. He breadcrumb me, and abandoned me the first month, when we got married, I didnt understand what was going on at the time. It seems like , when his mother came to town, he changed. And she told me not too hurt her son, and she didn’t even get to know me. He was constantly, calling her, while we were together. She knew everything that was going on in my house and bedroom. I thought that was weird. It’s a lot more to talk about, I kept telling him, that I have never been through this type of mess in my life. He kept wanting to hit me, and I stood my ground. He kept repeating, about how his brother beat his wife. And i wasnt going for this type of behavior. I need to talk to someone, and need help.

  12. AFTER READING THIS ARTICLE I REALIZE THAT THE PERSON WHO I GAVE SO MUCH OF MYSELF TO AND TREATED HIM LIKE A KING ALL I GOT IN RETURN WAS TREATED LIKED A PIECE OF SHIT WELL THIS IM SURE WAS A NARCISIST. THERE WERE SO MANY RED FLAGS FROM THE BEGINNING OF THE REALTIONSHIP BUT I REFUSED TO LOOK AT THEM AND IN THE END I GUESS I GOT JUST WHAT I DESERVED. BUT DOES THAT MAKE ME A FOOL. IM IN THE PROCESSING OF HEALING FROM THIS HORRIBLE MONSTER AND I HOPE AND PRAY THAT THERE IS LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL.

  13. I was love bombed by a narcissist she was married she told me a lot of lies about her husband who I knew so that we could start up a relationship. Unfortunately, I felled for those lies and had a four years relationship with her which was hell on earth for me.Finally I found out that even as a 44years married woman with four grown up children, she’s been sleeping with a lot of men even though she swore to me that I was the only one outside her husband that she lays with.I never knew she was sleeping with her husband’s former best friend and all her ex’s.I never knew that in my absence she humiliates me before her friends.Now before she left Nigeria for the Uk I told her that I’m done with her and I don’t want to have anything to do with her till death.Then she unleashed hell on me, contacted all the people she knew through me to tell them lies upon lies about me.Called my two very close friends and twisted half truths of everything I once confided on her about them to make me look like I was a bad person who was tearing my friends down. She accused me of everything she did or said wrong and sabotaged my friendship with this two persons.This was a person who continuously told me she was an empath and used lies of domestic abuse to get me into falling for her and trying to save her.I am 32 years old,I feel terrible,I regret ever meeting a devil in human body.I have been suffering anxiety disorder and PTSD ever since.She has damaged me mentally,emotionally and physically.I feel like I should go meet her husband,tell him everything and apologize to him.I feel like I should hurt myself for allowing her manipulate and use me as her supply until she left Nigeria for the UK.I’m so drained emotionally and physically. I wish I could wake up to all this being a dream.

  14. I think this all very lame. Expose the sob every chance you can! Just be smart and definitely be safe.
    I plan to expose a narc I’m living with just as soon as I am away from him. I recorded his abuse. Backed it up on Google and YouTube. As soon as I’m gone ill release the videos and send links to all his friends and family.

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