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How To Get Closure

* I generally write using the pronouns he/him when referring to narcissists, but females are just as likely to be narcissists or exhibit narcissistic traits. So please don't think just because article uses the word him or he that it could not be a woman in that same role.

People can need closure for a range of reasons, from leaving a job, moving out of a toxic environment, or the ending of a relationship, be it platonic or romantic.

Whatever it may be something that was once of huge importance in your life is now gone and you will be trying to find ways to move on. Keep reading to learn tips on how to get closure.

How To Get Closure

Getting closure is when you find finality and manage to close a chapter of your life before continuing on to the next without the temptation to keep looking back.

This can often be a painful, and difficult process but we are here to help you by offering five different ways you can get closure.

How To Get Closure

Below are five ways you can find closure and move into your future from whatever it is you are healing from or moving on from. 

Take Responsibility 

Only you can make the decision that you need closure. Speak to yourself to see what it is you need, ask yourself questions like:

  • What is it you are holding onto and why?
  • Is holding onto this serving you and making you happy? Are you holding onto something the way it was before it ended or are you holding on to when it was its best?
  • Are you holding on to something so that you have an excuse to stay stuck in a place of sadness out of fear of moving on?
  • Are you avoiding the void loss creates?
  • What does that mean for you if you are ready to let go?

Through these questions, you want to find out what you believe will happen from moving on. Be brutally honest with yourself here so that you can find out what you need to do for yourself and how you can work towards closure.

Once you start to unpeel the layers and see how you are truly feeling you will have made the first step towards closure and letting the light back in.

Grieve 

There is no period when you must reach closure. The closure is hugely personal, so you should take as long as you need and not push yourself too fast. It is important to feel the loss and allow yourself to cry and feel your grief.

Try to work through any unfinished business you may have so that you can fully work through your feelings and feel as though everything has been resolved and you are ready to continue towards reaching closure. 

If anyone tells you that you need to just get over something they should be ignored. You should surround yourself with supportive friends and family members so that you have someone to turn to whenever you are working through your grief. 

This will help you not feel all consumed by it as you will have someone to speak to when you need it.

Focus On The Positives 

Look at all the good that can flood your life now that you have space. If you have gone through a breakup, you can focus more on yourself, do that hobby you never had time to do before, or spend more time with family and friends.

Another great thing to do is to look at the positives in yourself, and write down your talents and assets to remind yourself of who you are and why moving on from whatever it may be will be good for you.

Look also at what you need and want that will make only you happy. Then consider what of those things you already have.

This will remind you of everything you have in your life that is good and make it easier to move on from something that you needed to let go off or had no choice but to be broken away from.

Make A Simple Plan 

Making a simple plan can be enough to help start to focus on the future again.

Begin by planning your day, not every minute of it but write done what you will do and what time you will roughly do these things at, for example, what time you will get up, what time you will be working, what time you are meeting a friend or eating.

This will give you something to look forward to throughout the day.

Once you are finding that you naturally look forward to each day being to make weekly and then monthly plans.

You could write your goals for the week and plan how you will achieve them all. It might be something as simple as making your bed but achieving this for a full week will give you a feeling of accomplishment.

Create A Personal Ritual

Create A Personal Ritual

Creating a ritual allows you to work towards closure the next time you need it with more confidence as you know this ritual has helped you before.

Your ritual could be disposing of things that remind you of something or somebody, returning items to your old employer, or giving personal artifacts back to an ex or an ex-friend.

Some people find fire ceremonies very helpful. For a fire ceremony, you will need to write a letter addressed to whatever it is you are seeking closure from.

Pour your feelings onto the paper and then burn the letter with pictures or other flammable items.

It can also be useful to change your furniture arrangements, get rid of old clothes, or paint a new color on your walls. Each of these will help you get closer to closure. 

Final Thoughts

We hope that our advice helps you to find peace and closure soon. Finding closure is a process and so it is important that you move through the steps you need to take with an awareness of your emotional needs.

Be kind to yourself, allow yourself to feel, and reach out for help if you need it.

Once you get the closure that you need you will feel renewed and be in awe of your own strength as only you can get yourself past whatever it is you are moving on from, and that is an achievement that you should be proud of. 

Emergency Numbers

Rape Abuse and Incest National Network (RAINN) is the nation’s largest organization fighting sexual violence: (800) 656-HOPE / (800) 810-7440 (TTY)

988 Mental Health Emergency Hotline: Calling 988 will connect you to a crisis counselor regardless of where you are in the United States.

911 Emergency

The National Runaway Safeline: 800-RUNAWAY (800-786-2929)

Self Abuse Finally Ends (S.A.F.E)

American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, Trauma & Child Abuse Resource Center

Domestic Violence Shelters & Resources

Futures Without Violence

National Center for Victims of Crime

National Coalition Against Domestic Violence

National Network to End Domestic Violence

National Sexual Violence Resource Center

Prevent Child Abuse America

Stalking Prevention, Awareness, and Resource Center (SPARC)

National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) HelpLine: 1-800-950-NAMI, or text “HELPLINE” to 62640. Both services are available between 10 a.m. and 10 p.m. ET, Monday–Friday

National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255); www.suicidepreventionlifeline.orgOr, just dial 988

Suicide Prevention, Awareness, and Support: www.suicide.org

Crisis Text Line: Text REASON to 741741 (free, confidential and 24/7). In English and Spanish

Self-Harm Hotline: 1-800-DONT CUT (1-800-366-8288)

Family Violence Helpline: 1-800-996-6228

American Association of Poison Control Centers: 1-800-222-1222

National Council on Alcoholism & Drug Dependency: 1-800-622-2255

LGBTQ Hotline: 1-888-843-4564

National Maternal Mental Health Hotline: 1-833-TLC-MAMA (1-833-852-6262)

The Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386 or text “START” to 678678. Standard text messaging rates apply. Available 24/7/365. (Provides crisis intervention and suicide prevention services to lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer & questioning—LGBTQ—young people under 25.)

The SAGE LGBT Elder Hotline connects LGBT older people and caretakers with friendly responders. 1-877-360-LGBT (5428)

The Trans Lifeline is staffed by transgender people for transgender people:
1-877-565-8860 (United States)
1-877-330-6366 (Canada)

Veterans Crisis Line: https://www.veteranscrisisline.net

International Suicide Prevention Directory: findahelpline.com

The StrongHearts Native Helpline is a confidential and anonymous culturally appropriate domestic violence and dating violence helpline for Native Americans, available every day from 7 a.m. to 10 p.m. CT. Call 1-844-762-8483.

‘Find a Therapist’ Online Directories

Canada

UK & Republic of Ireland

  • Emergency: 112 or 999
  • Hotline: +44 (0) 8457 90 90 90 (UK – local rate)
  • Hotline: +44 (0) 8457 90 91 92 (UK minicom)
  • Hotline: 1850 60 90 90 (ROI – local rate)
  • Hotline: 1850 60 90 91 (ROI minicom)
  • YourLifeCounts.org: https://yourlifecounts.org/find-help/

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