* I generally write using the pronouns he/him when referring to narcissists, but females are just as likely to be narcissists or exhibit narcissistic traits. So please don't think just because article uses the word him or he that it could not be a woman in that same role.
Being in a relationship can have its problems, but having a partner who is violent and makes your environment hostile and precarious is detrimental to anyone’s well-being, and being cautious or scared when around a partner can take its toll on anyone’s mental health.
What Are The Main 4 Types Of Intimate Violence Towards A Partner?
That is why we need more safe spaces to report and discuss the subject without repercussions, as abusers can go to any length to control and monitor their partner’s thoughts and actions.
Below we look at these types of abuse but feel free to skip to the advice section if you feel our look at these could trigger a negative response so that you can get the right help for your circumstances.
Main Types Of Intimate Violence
Physical Violence
As this states, this violence can involve any physical injury, throwing objects at you, or being threatened with violence if you’re not compliant with their demands, and after this, they may try to make reparations for their actions by promising not to do it again.
They may even threaten to harm others or children if you have any so that the abuser can blame you for any harm done in any capacity.
They might blame this behavior on factors such as their temper, stress at work, or financial worries, and it could lead to sexual violence against the other person’s will, such as rape or unwanted touching.
Verbal Violence
This type of violence involves the abuser calling you names, using words to shame you, making jokes at your expense, criticizing, yelling, or screaming at you, humiliating you in public or in front of your family, and making threats.
This can be used to manipulate, intimidate, and control you to behave a certain way or coerce you into an act that you may be uncomfortable with, and can extend to Witten abuse or defame you in a way that makes life more difficult for you and can isolate you further.
Psycological Violence
This type of violence uses many forms to have you conform to the abuser’s ideals, and one of the main ways they can do this is by gaslighting, where they can make you doubt your own reality and can be used as a way to excuse past behaviors.
What is so harmful about this type of abuse is that it can make you uncertain of yourself and can often be deflected back towards you, so you feel as if you’re to blame for why you feel this way, and is given as a means of justification for the prolonging of abusive behavior.
Socio-Economic Violence
This type of violence can affect how you make your own money and as the abuser relies on your dependence to maintain the relationship, you might find they try to prevent you from having a job or being in any form of education.
They can also try to limit your working hours, take your pay, refuse to let you open or access your bank account, and can even use forms of psychological abuse to tell you what you should spend your money on and may take some for their own needs.
How To Get Help With An Abusive Partner
You or someone you know might be a victim of this violence and want to improve your situation, and there may be instances where you are scared of harm or your partner promises that they will change, and the isolation and fear can drive many to stay in these relationships.
However, knowing what kind of help to get can be difficult as understanding how your partner thinks so you can avoid being hurt even more is going to take careful planning and thinking, so below are some of the easier ways you can get help.
Reach Out To Family And Friends
This might not be available for everyone as your partner may try to isolate you from these people, but signaling your worries in subtle ways can be effective, especially if your partner checks your phone or social activities.
Your loved ones can then recommend services that can help you and may offer a place to stay if your situation doesn’t look like it will change.
This may be difficult to establish, but they can help you make a safety plan when going through the motion of getting a restraining order made and helping with the children if you have any.
Contact A Hotline Or Service
You can contact the NCADV, where you can call their hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE) or 1-800-787-3224 (TTY), and this service is completely anonymous and confidential, and they can give you advice on how to contact local services such as shelters and law enforcement who will act with the utmost discretion and can help you make a safety plan.
They can also refer you to agencies that provide support for economic independence, sexual assault, and abuse, which will be handled in the most protective way, so you avoid any repercussions.
You can text START to 88788 to begin the process or send an email request, but be sure to hide these activities as best you can, and you can quickly tab out of the site if you need to.
Raise It With Your Practioner
If you have any injuries that you receive as part of this abuse, practitioners and other healthcare providers are trained to be alert to the signs of domestic abuse and might raise their concerns if you happen to have regular appointments.
Your healthcare professional has a duty to safeguard patients while maintaining the confidentiality and can explore these issues sensitively with you and what steps can be taken in response to disclosure.
The practice might have an elected person who can identify and engage with local services to get you the help you need, so being open can be an effective way of getting the most effective form of help, as your practice should be a safe space for you to raise any concerns you have.
Call 911
This method should only be used if you think your life is in immediate danger, and the average response time is around 11 minutes, but it could differ if you live in a rural area.
Try as best you can to give as much information as possible, and the phone operator will instruct you on what to do to protect yourself until law enforcement arrives.
Conclusion
Considering that 1 in 4 women and nearly 1 in 10 men experience contact violence and have reported the impact this has had on their lives, it is something that can often be hidden in plain sight, and many victims may feel ashamed to discuss their experiences.
Removing yourself from this situation and getting on the path of recovery can be just as difficult, but with counseling and support from family and friends, you can begin making steps in a positive direction, and being realistic about the timeframe of this recovery can be helpful for you going forward.