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How To Make A Narcissist Respect You

* I generally write using the pronouns he/him when referring to narcissists, but females are just as likely to be narcissists or exhibit narcissistic traits. So please don't think just because article uses the word him or he that it could not be a woman in that same role.

It’s important to understand why a narcissist doesn’t respect you in the first place before attempting to win their esteem. A malignant narcissist may use disrespect to manipulate you if you are dealing with them.

How To Make A Narcissist Respect You

They could make you feel degraded and attempt to undermine your sense of value. That is one of the tactics they might use to destroy your confidence.

Thankfully, not all narcissists are dangerous. It’s possible that you are acting in a way that is making the narcissist you are dealing with lose respect for you if they are not malicious or aggressive.

In this article, we’ll address the behaviors you should display in order to influence the narcissist in your life and make them respect you so you can maintain your peace.

Appear Valuable To Them

Most narcissists believe they are special, so when they meet someone who is superior to them, they tend to be quite impressed.

The quickest way to persuade a narcissist that you are better than them is to succeed where they failed.

It must be something they value rather than something they don’t care much about.

For instance, if the narcissist has been failing to do well academically, you should do your best to excel in your studies to gain their respect.

Show Your Emotional Independence

You won’t usually get the respect you want if you are constantly trying to win over the narcissist, if you are constantly looking for their favor, or if your happiness depends on them.

The narcissist, on the other hand, will become dependent on you when you are not needy or become better than them, compelling them to respect you. Just let them know that respecting you will be better for them overall.

Use “Training” Methods

Your narcissist is likely already considering you a given. They will regularly disregard and undervalue you as a result.

What you can do is limit your interactions with them to times when they are being polite, pleasant, and helpful.

As soon as they insult you, start ignoring them. Stop talking to them when their mask begins to fall. Teach them that you won’t talk to them again unless they start being a good person to be around.

The majority of your emotions won’t be returned, so do not put too much effort into the relationship. They will either try to lower your spirits in some way or treat your happiness with jealousy.

Don’t Allow Them To Disrespect You

A person who is mentally stable typically treats everyone nicely and with respect.

Regrettably, some people, particularly malicious narcissists, might mistake your friendliness for a weakness they can exploit.

The narcissist should be treated with respect at first, but as soon as they start acting disrespectful toward you, you should respond firmly and let them know that you will not tolerate it in any form.

How To Make A Narcissist Respect You copy

People are typically driven by a desire for reward or a desire to avoid punishment.

The narcissist will be driven to respect you if they are aware that there are always unpleasant repercussions attached to disrespecting you, even if those consequences aren’t that bad.

Let Them Win (Sometimes)

Narcissists are people who hate defeat. They take it personally and harbor resentment for the rest of their lives.

Allowing them to succeed while also emphasizing to them how well-deserved it was is the goal.

When narcissists believe they have won a conflict, they usually back off, leave you alone, and treat you with respect.

If you can’t let them win, at least give them something to gain from the engagement and make the whole affair seem like a win-win. 

The basic principle is to give them what they crave—attention and praise—in moderate amounts to keep their egos just slightly inflated.

Make Them See You As An Extension Of Themselves

They will grow to appreciate you and respect you if you continually remind them how similar you are to them by highlighting the resemblance.

For example, you can say something like: “Remember what you were telling me last week? I’ve given it some thought, and I definitely agree that you were right.”

Because you are “them” and the only person who matters to a narcissist is themselves, they are less inclined to harm you once they begin to regard you as an extension of themselves.

Set goals and boundaries once the narcissist starts to regard you as similar to them. This will help you gain respect in a healthy and constructive way.

Self-Insulate And Build A Strong Mindset

Narcissists often prey on those who appear to be weak. They are aware that these people frequently have low self-esteem and are consequently susceptible to manipulation.

Nonetheless, they despise these people because it makes them think of their own hidden selves.

Hence, narcissists deceive their victims into thinking they appreciate them even though they do not. They have a somewhat resentful outlook on those with low self-esteem.

You need to obtain things like power positions, wealth, and attractiveness in order to earn their genuine respect. They connect these characteristics to having a high sense of value and self-worth.

So, cultivate a positive outlook and a high sense of worth, and the narcissist might respect you. The stronger you are, the less likely that their words will affect you.

Learn To Say “No”

Gaining a narcissist’s respect requires learning how to say “no” with more conviction.

First of all, because they regularly violate the boundaries you establish with them. When they cross boundaries, you must be tough and call them out.

Moreover, they frequently speak disrespectfully of nearly everyone.

Stop them with “no” if they are disparaging someone else, especially someone you know. This conveys a sense of firm authority.

Final Thoughts

It may seem strange to seek respect from a narcissistic person, however, it can be beneficial for both parties and will help you avoid any upsetting confrontations.

With this guide, you can take the steps necessary to gain and maintain the respect of the narcissist in your life.

Emergency Numbers

Rape Abuse and Incest National Network (RAINN) is the nation’s largest organization fighting sexual violence: (800) 656-HOPE / (800) 810-7440 (TTY)

988 Mental Health Emergency Hotline: Calling 988 will connect you to a crisis counselor regardless of where you are in the United States.

911 Emergency

The National Runaway Safeline: 800-RUNAWAY (800-786-2929)

Self Abuse Finally Ends (S.A.F.E)

American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, Trauma & Child Abuse Resource Center

Domestic Violence Shelters & Resources

Futures Without Violence

National Center for Victims of Crime

National Coalition Against Domestic Violence

National Network to End Domestic Violence

National Sexual Violence Resource Center

Prevent Child Abuse America

Stalking Prevention, Awareness, and Resource Center (SPARC)

National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) HelpLine: 1-800-950-NAMI, or text “HELPLINE” to 62640. Both services are available between 10 a.m. and 10 p.m. ET, Monday–Friday

National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255); www.suicidepreventionlifeline.orgOr, just dial 988

Suicide Prevention, Awareness, and Support: www.suicide.org

Crisis Text Line: Text REASON to 741741 (free, confidential and 24/7). In English and Spanish

Self-Harm Hotline: 1-800-DONT CUT (1-800-366-8288)

Family Violence Helpline: 1-800-996-6228

American Association of Poison Control Centers: 1-800-222-1222

National Council on Alcoholism & Drug Dependency: 1-800-622-2255

LGBTQ Hotline: 1-888-843-4564

National Maternal Mental Health Hotline: 1-833-TLC-MAMA (1-833-852-6262)

The Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386 or text “START” to 678678. Standard text messaging rates apply. Available 24/7/365. (Provides crisis intervention and suicide prevention services to lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer & questioning—LGBTQ—young people under 25.)

The SAGE LGBT Elder Hotline connects LGBT older people and caretakers with friendly responders. 1-877-360-LGBT (5428)

The Trans Lifeline is staffed by transgender people for transgender people:
1-877-565-8860 (United States)
1-877-330-6366 (Canada)

Veterans Crisis Line: https://www.veteranscrisisline.net

International Suicide Prevention Directory: findahelpline.com

The StrongHearts Native Helpline is a confidential and anonymous culturally appropriate domestic violence and dating violence helpline for Native Americans, available every day from 7 a.m. to 10 p.m. CT. Call 1-844-762-8483.

‘Find a Therapist’ Online Directories


UK & Republic of Ireland

  • Emergency: 112 or 999
  • Hotline: +44 (0) 8457 90 90 90 (UK – local rate)
  • Hotline: +44 (0) 8457 90 91 92 (UK minicom)
  • Hotline: 1850 60 90 90 (ROI – local rate)
  • Hotline: 1850 60 90 91 (ROI minicom)
  • YourLifeCounts.org: https://yourlifecounts.org/find-help/

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