* I generally write using the pronouns he/him when referring to narcissists, but females are just as likely to be narcissists or exhibit narcissistic traits. So please don't think just because article uses the word him or he that it could not be a woman in that same role.
There’s a lot of controversy around the topic of self-improvement.
We see a lot of people criticising the self-improvement community and telling people that it’s bullshit, and it doesn’t surprise us at all.
Why? Because I can see why they are saying that.
Most of the self-improvement content that is out there always sounds like disgusting, reassuring and useless information that people read or watch to feel better for five minutes.
I never saw much that was genuinely helpful.
There is a lot of theory but little practice.
I mean, there was a lot of content aimed to make you “think in a different way” but only a small fraction of that was something you could actually do.
In a nutshell, when people tell you that self-help is bullshit, it’s because the community is full of useless and theoretical advice.
That’s basically why it’s seen as a waste of time by some people.
Now that we got that out of the way, here’s precisely why self-improvement sounds like it’s bullshit :
1. The advice is not accurate
Most of the advice you’ll find is not accurate. If others tell you to “chill” “relax” or “be happy”, that’s not going to help. You need precise and accurate advice so that you can take action, and get what you want as a result.
2. There are a lot of “gurus” out there
Probably one of the main reasons why self-improvement is seen as bullshit. When so many people pretend that they have the solution to all of your problems, and offer such low-quality content, it’s no surprise that they’ll get a bad reputation for doing it.
3. “Self-improvement” has become just a theory
I mean that a lot of people read and read, but they don’t apply any of it. Of course, you need to learn, but what’s the point if it doesn’t make your life easier ?
4. There’s a lot of misleading advice
For example, I’ve seen a lot of people telling others to “accept themselves”, “be happy the way they are” or even that “they are beautiful and worthy”.
This kind of stuff is honestly disgusting and useless. Basically, it’s bullshit. I just see it as someone who’s reassuring others about their insecurities instead of showing them how to overcome them.
I mean, what kind of advice is this ? You’ll never convince someone with insecurities and low self-esteem that they are truly a worthy person by putting this stuff on social media.
Self-esteem is built by action and effort, not simple affirmations that you’ll forget after thirty seconds.
5. Almost no one uses the good advice
I said earlier that there was plenty of low-quality advice out there, but there are also some pretty good ones too. For example, Fight Mediocrity and Actualized.org are two of the best high-quality sources on self-improvement you can find.
They offer real advice, but even then, few people actually use them.
I think a lot of people don’t even bother to read a book or do what it says, and then you find them saying “self-help doesn’t work”.
Well, nothing works unless you do.
You can’t expect it to be a magical pill that will make you a better person in one night.
Self-improvement takes time and effort, so you have to actually use the advice you get, not just read it.
Most of what self-improvement gurus are talking about is just a label. I mean, there are a lot of people who consider themselves interested in self-improvement, but few of them really follow through with any actions to actually improve themselves.
The point from all of that theory and thinking is to upgrade yourself, to become better, not to clutter your mind with useless stuff you’ll never use.