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What will destroy narcissist’s ego?

6 Comments / Domestic Abuse, Narcissism

* I generally write using the pronouns he/him when referring to narcissists, but females are just as likely to be narcissists or exhibit narcissistic traits. So please don't think just because article uses the word him or he that it could not be a woman in that same role.

Narcissists have super-sensitive and fragile egos, so almost everything that happens to them has some ego impact. Some of the most disastrous events to the narcissist’s ego include:

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Table of Contents

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  • Being unmasked. When you realize that the narcissist is not confident, secure, and bold, but is actually paranoid, insecure, and cowardly, this causes a huge narcissistic injury. The narcissist will head right down into his foxhole and order some of his minions to dig him a tunnel to Siberia. He never wants to see you again!
  • Abusing someone who sees through his con job. Narcissists count on the effectiveness of narcissistic abuse techniques such as projection, triangulation, and gaslighting to create an alternate reality in which they are flawless and everyone else causes all of the problems. When a victim of narcissistic abuse does not buy into this BS, and instead sees the narcissist’s whole chessboard clearly, the narcissist has just lost at his own sick and twisted game. His ego does not even know who he is anymore. Now he will have to con a whole new group of people so he can once again believe in his awesome, flawless self! Exhausting!
  • Losing control. This is the worst thing that can happen to the narcissist. It throws him off completely. He only feels safe if he is controlling people (who he sees as objects) via various manipulative techniques. Do not go off “the plan” and do anything unexpected! The narcissist will counterattack, and he shoots to kill!
  • Perceived criticism, boundaries, and attempts to hold them accountable for their harmful behavior. Listen, people, the narcissist is the boss here—everyone else exists for his desired use and pleasure. So don’t do anything inconvenient, like stand up for yourself!
  • Failure to accommodate the narcissist’s insatiable need for admiration, special privileges, praise, and ego-feed. The narcissist will, at minimum, go out in search of better supply if you dare to do this to him. Compliment him, stroke his ego gently, make clear that he dominates you in every way…or pay the price!
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If you need a crisis hotline or want to learn more about therapy, please see below:

For more information on mental health, please see:

Related Posts:

If You Need A Crisis Hotline Or Want To Learn More About Therapy, Please See Below:

  • RAINN (Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network) – 1-800-656-4673
  • The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 1-800-273-8255
  • National Domestic Violence Hotline – 1-800-799-7233
  • NAMI Helpline (National Alliance on Mental Illness) – 1-800-950-6264

For More Information On Mental Health, Please See:

  • SAMHSA (Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration) SAMHSA Facebook, SAMHSA Twitter, SAMHSA LinkedIn, SAMHSA Youtube
  • Mental Health America, MHA Twitter, MHA Facebook, MHA Instagram, MHA Pinterest, MHA Youtube
  • WebMD, WebMD Facebook, WebMD Twitter, WebMD Instagram, WebMD Pinterest
  • NIMH (National Institute of Mental Health), NIMH Instagram, NIMH Facebook, NIMH Twitter, NIMH YouTube
  • APA (American Psychiatric Association), APA Twitter, APA Facebook, APA LinkedIN, APA Instagram

6 thoughts on “What will destroy narcissist’s ego?”

  1. Heidi

    And when you grow up with a Narcissistic parent, it’s easy to find yourself married to one having no idea what one just did. It’s familiar, normal, or perhaps even part of your religion…it took me 12 years to get out. And it’s been almost 20 years since I left and got divorced. Although I still spend time working to heal the trauma, it’s a relief to be able to recognize these people and no longer get stuck with them.

    Reply
    1. Whackycoffee

      Exactly what happened to me. I’ve been married for 15 years. We have 2 children, the older child has major psychological problems. This caused me to investigate hence my discovery. But I’m not in a financial position to leave ‍

      Reply
  2. Brad

    Nothing I do is good enough. When I ask about a certain behavior she gets mad, but when I use a play out of her playbook she gets even madder. Nothing is ever her fault everyone else “caused” her to react a certain way. Frankly I’m sick of it, if I try to talk to her about how I feel, I’m selfish, if I don’t bend to her every command I’m gaslighting her, everything is always my fault, even when I’m not there.
    When I try to confront it, she acts like a child having a temper tantrum and then says I drove her to it. She’s got us kicked out of restaurants, hotels, even apartments with her actions and never, has she ever took responsibility for any of it. I’ve tried to contact help, but when she finds out she literally beats me and tells me that if I ever do it again I’d find myself in a world of hell. I’ve never had any mental problems like I do now, it doesn’t matter what I do to try to make her happy, she always complains about the life I provide for her, it’s never good enough. Once one thing is met she finds something else, once that’s complete she starts about something else. It’s manipulation. She expects me to celebrate her birthday but she doesn’t even remember mine. I’m s sick of it so sick that I want to die to escape

    Reply
    1. REese

      Hello Brad I can you see that your about to lose yourself. I am going to give you some of the best advices. Google Scary Mommy how to disarm a narcissist. It will give you 25 ways that really works. I have tried them myself with my narcissist. The other way is to keep her spinning. What I mean is when she acts crazy , calls you selfish. Start Ask her probing Question, Can you please you clarify how I’m selfish or whatever? Can u explain how am I selfish? Your reply is to act like you don’t get it .Ask another question to make her keep trying to explain her way of you being selfish until she gets tired. Remember you can never win with them so your making her think she’s winning and she’s really not.

      Reply
  3. CHERYL BUSWELL

    I live with my adult daughter and her narcissistic husband and two young grandchildren. I’m looking to move out because he is driving me crazy. The worst part is that my daughter doesn’t know enough about narcissism to accept that he is one. And, the effect he is having on my 8 year old granddaughter. How do I help my granddaughter?

    Reply
  4. Cynthia R Daniels

    hello, I recently ended a friendship with an old friend. I constantly found things for us to do both of being in our 60’s. there were 3 of us in a group, the third being a lifetime friend as well. the one lady who I ended my friendship with, constantly cancelled out of most fun events that were usually paid for in weeks ahead. then when she did want to go, I asked her to drive, and she never would.we rented a cabin and of course she took the best bedroom and always made it clear, what she wanted to and what she would not do, no matter if us,other gals wanted to do something.. I spent a big sum of money on a new years eve party and she was invited. only4 we’re suppose to come. she never showed up, never called, and texted me the next day saying she was sick. that’s when I was done. is this typical ?narcissistic

    Reply

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