* I generally write using the pronouns he/him when referring to narcissists, but females are just as likely to be narcissists or exhibit narcissistic traits. So please don't think just because article uses the word him or he that it could not be a woman in that same role.
Narcissists are often described as selfish, arrogant, and self-centered. They tend to lack empathy and compassion towards other people. But do narcissists feel guilt ever?
Are they really doomed to remain narcissistic forever? Or can they change their behavior over time?
Narcissism is a personality trait characterized by an inflated sense of self-importance, superiority, and entitlement.
People who score high on measures of narcissism tend to be less empathetic and more prone to engage in unethical behaviors.
If you want to know how much someone has changed, you could measure them twice, at different times.
Do Narcissists Feel Guilt?
Suppose there’s been no significant change between those measurements. In that case, it’s likely safe to assume that something was holding the person back from improving.
For example, if someone hasn’t changed since childhood but still scored high on a narcissism scale today, this would suggest that the problem lies within the person rather than in society or life circumstances.
If narcissists can change, why don’t all people get rid of their narcissism? What causes some people to continue to act like narcissists despite knowing better?
Narcissists may have learned to manage their emotions so well that they aren’t always aware of their bad behavior.
Another possibility is that narcissists develop an elaborate and complex defense mechanism to protect themselves from feeling guilty about their actions.
A third reason might be that narcissists need others to admire them. Without admiration, narcissists experience discomfort and stress.
Therefore, they may seek out situations where they can thrive without having to deal with feelings of shame or guilt.
In my opinion, narcissists have a shallow level of guilt. They can’t realize what they did wrong. They go through life being proud of their achievements while blaming everyone around them for their problems.
They never take responsibility and always blame others for their mistakes. I believe most narcissists are sociopaths because they couldn’t care less for anyone else except themselves.
I also think that narcissists are incapable of feeling remorseful, so they’re not capable of changing.
In fact, narcissists will often argue that they deserve everything they have. Even if they are caught stealing, they will say that the store owner should give them goods anyway because they work hard.
But unfortunately, they seem to forget that they are taking advantage of the employees and customers alike.
Narcissists indeed have trouble recognizing when they do something wrong. Still, their inability to internalize their mistakes doesn’t mean that they don’t feel any regret at all.
When they misbehave, they don’t usually admit to doing something stupid. One way they cope with the pain of making a mistake is by blaming someone else for the problem.
By placing the blame elsewhere, they avoid taking responsibility for their actions.
Narcissistic individuals tend to see things as black or white: Either they are right and other people are wrong, or they are wrong.
Other people are right (or vice versa). People who lack empathy for others and have difficulty accepting responsibility for their own behavior see the world in terms of absolutes.
They have little tolerance for gray areas and ambiguity. Their perception of reality makes it impossible for them to recognize their faults and shortcomings.
Narcissistic individuals view the world as populated only by “winners” and “losers.” There are no shades of gray.
To them, there is only good and evil, right and wrong. They don’t understand that we all make mistakes and that every situation contains good and bad elements.
Therefore, selfish individuals frequently struggle to comprehend the nuances of human relationships.
When they fail to grasp that people can misbehave sometimes, their whole view of the universe collapses.
They cannot tolerate the idea that things can be more complicated than simple-minded black-and-white thinking allows.
How To Estrange Yourself From A Narcissist
To estrange yourself from a narcissist is not easy. First, you must know how to break up with them and leave your ex behind.
The first step you must take is to control your emotions and keep calm. Once you own your feelings, you can move on.
The second thing you can do is stop talking to your former partner, especially when they call you. If you still feel connected to your ex, you can talk about them during your daytime activities.
But, avoid spending too much time together. Do not let your ex come into contact with a child. Keep away from each other until such a time when you can healthily handle them.
You must also consider that you will lose friends from your past life to get over your relationship with a narcissist.
It may appear that you will never find anyone better than your spouse. However, this is just an illusion. Your ex has taken hold of your heart and soul. You need to start looking for new friends and meet new people.
You may want to join some support groups where you can get help and advice from people who have successfully gotten out of similar situations before you.
In addition, these groups could provide you with suggestions on dealing with your ex after you break up.
If your ex has cheated on you before, you need to watch what happens next. This means you must check the ex’s history thoroughly.
For example, find out if any previous partners had given birth to children and/or been abused by your partner.
Suppose you learn that your ex was involved in another affair while conceiving your child. In that case, you should definitely end the relationship immediately.
If you believe that your ex is abusive or violent toward you, you need to report them to the authorities.
Especially if you haven’t done so already. In addition, you must also file for divorce as soon as possible. Hopefully nothing is stopping you from doing so now.
To conclude, you must stay strong while getting over a narcissist. As long as you have a goal in hand, namely, staying away from your ex forever, you won’t give up easily.
Remember to always trust your instincts and follow your own self-interest.