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How can narcissist fake love?

    * I generally write using the pronouns he/him when referring to narcissists, but females are just as likely to be narcissists or exhibit narcissistic traits. So please don't think just because article uses the word him or he that it could not be a woman in that same role.

    A narcissist who is faking love would never be able adhere to issues that “go without saying” in a mature adult love context.

    I think a love match between two relationship partners who are making a good-faith effort to have a successful relationship are blessed.

    The “it goes without saying” issues leave no place for one to fake love, take one another for granted, or behave selfishly.

    ••In mature adult love context, it goes without saying…each relationship partner will treat one another in the manner he or she would want to be treated.

    ••It goes without saying…neither relationship partner will use denial or be intentionally vague in order to try to avoid telling the truth.

    ••It goes without saying… that neither relationship partner will fake emotions in an effort to lull one another into having a false sense of security.

    ••It goes without saying…both relationship partners come to the relationship with good intentions; consequently, this issue will never need come up in the context of an argument.

    ••It goes without saying…neither relationship partner would be kind or considerate in an effort to manipulate or betray; consequently, it goes without saying anything either relationship partner says to the other will be taken at face value.

    ••It goes without saying…neither relationship partner has to worry that any given comment could be misconstrued as a criticism which, in turn, would result in a relationship partner storming off.

    ••It goes without saying…if your relationship partner feels insecure about something he or she has the requisite competence to communicate his or her concerns rather than go silent or pull a low level ghosting stunt..

    ••It goes without saying…if either relationship partner would not hesitate to apologize if he or she had made a mistake and caused undue drama, trauma, and chaos for one reason or another.

    ••It goes with saying…that both relationship partners view love to be a “team sport” as opposed to a competition between to be either won or lost.

    ••It goes without saying…that neither relationship partner need worry that any given disagreement might lead to a relationship partner to feeling so insecure that he or she will be motivated to pull a preemptive cheat stunt.

    ••It goes without saying…that if either relationship partner has a bad day for any one of a thousand mundane reasons, neither relationship partner will perceive one’s being tired or stressed to be manifestation of relationship doom which, in turn, becomes catalyst to initiate a preemptive relationship bailing stunt…..

    ••It goes without saying…..both relationship partners will use sound judgement when making decisions or choosing a course of action that could negatively impact the integrity of either relationship partner or the relationship as a whole.

    ••It goes without saying….if a relationship partner makes a promise he or she will make a concerted effort to fulfill the promise made.

    ••It goes without saying that….if a promise is broken it was likely for a legitimate reason as opposed to reason born out one’s selfishness or due to one’s being inconvenienced.

    ••It goes without saying…each relationship partner will extend common courtesy to one another — saying “please” and “thank you” is not considered to be some kind of major burden.

    ••It goes without saying…each relationship partner does not try to keep his or her options open so that he or she may “trade up” for “better” attention supplier should one come along.

    ••It goes without saying…that neither relationship partner is going to be obsessed with making sure a back up relationship partner be at ready because all relationships are presumed to fail sooner rather than later.

    ••It goes without saying…that both relationship partners are always looking out the for one another’s best interests.

    ••It goes without saying that neither relationship partner will tell third parties such as therapists, friends, and/family members partial versions of events or stories in an effort to secure an unwitting ally.

    ••It goes without saying…that neither relationship partner will triangulate in an effort to stoke insecurities and jealousy.

    ••It goes without saying…that each relationship partner is looking at the relationship from the perspective that it’s for the long haul as opposed to one person using the other relationship partner’s resources while biding his or her time.

    ••It goes without saying…that relationship partner’s will not pathologically lie in an effort to exert power or control over one another.

    ••It goes without saying…each relationship partner will be inclined to “put on the brakes” before doing something impulsive that will have a negative impact on the relationship as a whole such as….

    •••regulating one’s fragile sense of self by sucking up to strangers for an attention fix

    •••turning on one’s inner tornado and barreling through life leaving a swath of destruction in one’s wake

    •••regulating one’s brittle self-esteem by being intimate with “conquests.”

    •••wildly barking the most outrageously hurtful things that come to mind

    •••calling friends and family and going on a badmouthing spree at your relationship partner’s expense

    •••binging or exploiting a relationship partner’s resources with reckless abandon– let alone not showing common courtesy

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    Conclusion

    In a mature adult intimate love context there is no place for fake emotions– let alone fake love.

    One wonders if a narcissist is psychologically equipped to embrace the requisite emotions and level of compassion necessary to engage in a good-faith love relationship characterized by…

    •••mutuality

    •••selflessness

    •••reciprocity

    •••loyalty

    •••joint compassion

    •••limitless caring and concern for another

    2 thoughts on “How can narcissist fake love?”

    1. It goes with outt saying that I loved you. I thought we were going to help all the Hurting people out there.
      we knew how! all the abused and battered women. I gave all the money back. The stock profolio.
      Trips to Paris . The illness you had. I did not care if I got it or not . I Just wanted you to know you were
      Loved. I am not mad at you. I am just though with you. I pray you will be o.k. I just want to start my Life
      So I can do what I am called to do. To help these hurting women. You did not WIN. God knew I could do
      this now I know. Thank You, Kim

      1. **It goes without saying that I loved you… That I was in it for the long haul. That I would have never cheated on you like you accused /projected on me. That what appeared to be me ignoring you was just my way of avoiding a constant conflict where no answer would satisfy you. That my angry responses were a reactive response to the fact that you are the only person that punched me in the face(20-25 times), threw things at me, accused me of doing the things that you were doing to me. That you are the only person that I have ever known that showed me so little respect that I wasn’t worth giving an apology to during our 4 year marriage. That you had so little respect for me that you would lie to my face about things that I heard you say or watch you do.
        **It goes without saying that…eventually I will forgive you for the lies that you told about me. The false charges of domestic violence you made so that you could take as much of what I had for yourself. That while I loved you that you plotted against me, made me homeless, that you destroyed me financially by stealing or purposely not filing my taxes with yours and did your best to change peoples perception of me by making claims that I said or did things that you knew were not true.
        **It goes without saying …that I am aware that you did not ask to have the illness that you have and that you would like to have a happy life.
        **It goes without saying …that it saddens me that certain people in your life responsible for your upbringing choose to “stay out” of conflict when you launch your “inner tornado of destruction” smear campaigns, bad mouth to justify cheating or simply ignore your repeated history of violence and malicious treatment of men that cared about you.
        **It goes without saying… that while you may have thought I would never divorce you, doing so was the best decision I could have made. You taught me what evil looks and acts like. You gave me the tools needed to avoid getting to close to another person that is so full of themself that they feel they couldn’t possibly contribute to the demise of relationships.
        **It goes without saying… that regardless of your efforts to harm me in any way that you could, that did in fact cause me pain and probably will in the future that I will wear a smile on my face 98.675% of the time, that I will be kind to people, that I will be successful in life, that I will live my life based on always telling truth and that I will never give up on love. ♥️

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