Abuse Warrior may earn a commission for purchases made after clicking links on this page. Learn More.

Do Narcissists Know They Are Narcissists?

* I generally write using the pronouns he/him when referring to narcissists, but females are just as likely to be narcissists or exhibit narcissistic traits. So please don't think just because article uses the word him or he that it could not be a woman in that same role.

Narcissists are known for their grandiose sense of self-importance. They believe they are superior to everyone around them. Are they really capable of changing? Do Narcissists Know They Are Narcissists

Do Narcissists Know They Are Narcissists

Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is characterized by a pervasive pattern of grandiosity and entitlement.

In addition, lack of empathy or remorse and insensitivity to the feelings of others. In addition, people who suffer from NPD often exhibit narcissistic traits such as arrogance, selfishness, and conceit.

Narcissists can indeed change. In fact, some researchers say that narcissism is a form of normalcy bias.

This means that people with NPD tend to see themselves differently than other people do. This leads us to believe that narcissists can change because they don’t view themselves in the same way we do.

But do narcissists really want to change? The answer is some do! What makes this possible is our understanding of how narcissists think. Here’s what you need to know about how narcissists perceive themselves.

Table of Contents

Narcissistic Personality Disorder: Diagnosis & Treatment

To treat someone with NPD, psychologists will first try to understand the person’s thoughts. It could be helpful if you ask yourself any questions like these:

  • Do they have an inflated ego?
  • Are they arrogant?
  • Do they seem condescending towards others?

It may help to uncover the underlying cause of their behavior. Some causes include:

  • A childhood trauma
  • An abusive parent
  • Lack of trust in relationships
  • Low self-esteem
  • Inability to feel positive emotions

One important thing to recognize is that narcissists aren’t born that way. Instead, they’re taught how to act in society.

For example, being told “You should always get whatever you want” might have instilled a belief that one is entitled to attention and resources.

So, even though the narcissist isn’t fully aware of how they think, there would still be something that triggers that personality trait.

How To Spot A Narcissist

So, now that you know more about narcissism, how can you spot a narcissist? As I said before, narcissists appear different than most others. Here are just four signs to look out for:

  • First, they may use excessive flattery to gain approval.
  • Second, they may believe they deserve special treatment.
  • Third, they may be overly concerned with status and power.
  • Finally, they may place extreme importance on money and possessions.

So, What Can You Do If Your Partner Has NPD?

If your partner has been diagnosed with NPD, here are some things you can do to help them:

  • Be honest. 
  • Share your own thoughts, feelings, and beliefs.
  • Don’t engage in conflict or arguments. 
  • Focus on solutions, not problems.
  • Let them make decisions for themselves. 
  • Don’t push your opinions onto them.
  • Avoid blaming others.
  • Instead, focus on your own behaviors.
  • Talk less about yourself.
  • Give them time alone when needed. 
  • Avoid nagging or criticism.
  • Focus on improving your relationship and not on punishing them.

Remember, it’s never too late to recover. Recovery takes patience and persistence. But knowing how narcissists think can help you start working on recovery today. 

How To Stop Contacting A Narcissist

It may be helpful to stop contacting them altogether. However, if you have trouble doing so, consider talking to a professional therapist who specializes in helping people with NPD.

She’ll likely give you strategies for dealing with your current situation and help guide you through future interactions.

How To Leave An Abusive Relationship 

To leave an abusive relationship, you must first decide whether or not you want to stay or go. Then, you must find support from friends and family and other support professionals.

1. Go Slowly

Try to approach breaking up carefully. Avoid saying anything abrupt or hurtful. Instead, try to take note of all the good times together.

This helps you remember what you had with them and reduces negative feelings. Also, don’t say anything negative about them until they are out of sight unless you want them to retaliate.

2. Keep In Touch With Yourself

Once you’ve decided to leave them, call a friend and write down everything you feel and experience.

Do Narcissists Know They Are Narcissists (1)

This gives you a chance to reflect and work through your emotions. Plus, it reminds you that you’re ok—you’re not crazy!

You’re not going mad because you want to get away from them. It’s perfectly normal to feel angry, upset, or sad. This will enable you to move forward without letting this crush you.

3. Talk About How They affect You

When you talk to your friends and family, try to share how they affect you. Even if you don’t tell anyone else about their abuse, telling someone will allow you to vent your frustrations.

4. Seek Help From Professionals

Once you’ve talked about how they affected you, seek therapy from a trained counselor.

Treatment is essential because it allows you to express your feelings in a safe environment.

Your therapist will also be able to help you develop coping skills that will enable you to deal with relationships and life situations.

5. Move On And Forgive Them

You may feel like you have no choice but to stay in the relationship, especially if they threaten to break up with you or withhold sex.

But ultimately, waiting doesn’t benefit either of you. When you leave, you can begin to heal by forgiving them, if you want to.

Saying “I forgive you” means that you accept that they were wrong, and you don’t hold any resentment against them.

But, you don’t have to forgive someone to stay healthy. However, if you keep holding unhealthy grudges, you risk getting stuck in the same cycle again. Instead, focus on moving forward.

6. Don’t Take Risks Again

As tempting as it is to fall back into old habits, don’t let yourself. Remember why you left them in the first place and avoid making similar mistakes.

If you need extra motivation, make a list of risks you took before and then reflect on each.

7. Stay Away From A Friendship With Them

Since you were abused by them, it might seem natural to hang around them. But please resist this temptation.

Even though they might appear harmless, you can’t really trust them. So, avoid spending time in their circle of friends and acquaintances.

8. Focus On The Positive

Remember all the great things about your relationship. Write them down. There’s nothing wrong with doing this.

By focusing on the positive aspects of your relationship, you’ll become more confident and strong in yourself that you can have a better experience elsewhere.

9. Get Support From Others

You won’t always be able to rely only on yourself. That’s why you should reach out for emotional support.

Tell your friends and family members, so they understand you better. Ask them to listen to you and offer their sympathy.

What is Codependency? 20 Signs Of Co-dependency


When you decide to end a toxic relationship, there isn’t a magic formula you must follow. So instead, consider these tips and find ways that best suit your needs. Good luck!

If You Need A Crisis Hotline Or Want To Learn More About Therapy, Please See Below:

  • RAINN (Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network) – 1-800-656-4673
  • The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 1-800-273-8255
  • National Domestic Violence Hotline – 1-800-799-7233
  • NAMI Helpline (National Alliance on Mental Illness) – 1-800-950-6264

For More Information On Mental Health, Please See:

  • SAMHSA (Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration) SAMHSA Facebook, SAMHSA Twitter, SAMHSA LinkedIn, SAMHSA Youtube
  • Mental Health America, MHA Twitter, MHA Facebook, MHA Instagram, MHA Pinterest, MHA Youtube
  • WebMD, WebMD Facebook, WebMD Twitter, WebMD Instagram, WebMD Pinterest
  • NIMH (National Institute of Mental Health), NIMH Instagram, NIMH Facebook, NIMH Twitter, NIMH YouTube
  • APA (American Psychiatric Association), APA Twitter, APA Facebook, APA LinkedIN, APA Instagram

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *