* I generally write using the pronouns he/him when referring to narcissists, but females are just as likely to be narcissists or exhibit narcissistic traits. So please don't think just because article uses the word him or he that it could not be a woman in that same role.
Unfortunately, there are many different types of abusive behaviors in contemporary society, and even though there has been increased awareness and acknowledgment, they continue to occur every single day. So, What Types Of People Use Love Bombing?
One such example is ‘love bombing’, but despite being a commonly occurring practice – usually in interpersonal relationships – there are many people who might not actually know what it is.
So what exactly is love bombing, and what kinds of people use it?
What Is Love Bombing?
Generally speaking, love bombing is an attempt to influence someone’s behavior by showering them with affection and attention.
The intentions for this can be both positive and negative, but unfortunately, usually, sway towards the latter – seeing people manipulated or used for the selfish purposes of the purveyor.
While not strictly negative in all cases, it is often sighted as the beginning stage of a cycle of abuse – and as such, experts warn people to avoid engaging in or being engaged in such acts.
Benign Love Bombing
Benign love bombing is just when an insecure and affectionate person displays the signs but without the manipulation, intent, and abuse behind it.
They might just be overly affectionate, or desperate for love, and while confusing initially, the difference between this and love bombing should be apparent.
Toxic Love Bombing
Toxic love bombing is notably different, and it is always centered around control and manipulation – particularly with regards to securing someone’s undivided attention, and separating them from their support networks of friends and family.
The difference can seem confusing at the time, but with a proper examination of the situation, and an understanding of the signs, you can hopefully avoid falling into the trap.
What Types Of People Use Love Bombing?
Generally speaking, love bombing can occur in any kind of interpersonal relationship, including:
- Parent-child relationships
- Romantic relationships
- Toxic friendships
- Inter-family relationships/dynamics
Love bombing can occur whenever closeness is normal, and is a strong and powerful tool utilized by abusers, selfish people, and narcissists in all walks of life.
What Are The Signs Of Love Bombing?
As you might imagine, love bombing can take many different forms, and it is usually catered to the specifics of the individual.
However, there are some universal signs that should be watched out for.
Frequent Treats & Gifts
This might not sound like an objectively negative thing, but if someone is lavishing you with gifts and treats with an ulterior motive in mind, then this can certainly be a negative thing.
This can also be partnered with other forms of abuse, and could represent part of a repetitive cycle of abuse – wherein you are showered with gifts, and then met with verbal, mental, physical, or even sexual abuse, and then the cycle repeats again.
This gift-giving can also be a tool used by abusers to lure people into their orbit – making them feel loved and appreciated to such an extent that they overlook other red flags that might be present.
Over-Complimenting
Once again, this is a complicated one and is very much context-dependent.
Oftentimes, a partner who compliments you a whole bunch could actually just be madly in love with you – or could be inexperienced with the way of relationships and could see this as the done thing.
However, in other instances, it can take a more negative slant – playing the same role as the lavish gift giving, making the person feel overwhelmed with love, and thus blinded to the other abuse that could come with it.
Frequent Contact
They also might bombard you with calls and texts – keeping in contact in a way that might seem excessive even to the person involved.
While this is normal when two people start dating, it can be a negative thing if the conversation is entirely one sided, or indeed if the tone and nature of the conversation is negative or detrimental to your mental health.
Undivided Attention
In some cases, a love bomber can attempt to get in between the other relationships in your life – interjecting themselves into your life in such a way that their presence becomes more important than family and friends.
This need for undivided attention can then be used to make the other person feel responsible or dependent on the abuser as well, who will use this to isolate them further from their loved ones.
The ‘Soul Mates’ Fantasy
This is where the love bomber tries to jump several steps in the relationship by convincing you that the two of you are soul mates and belong together.
This is a powerful suggestion, and one that in many ways beats words like ‘love’ in terms of seriousness.
This can be powerful for some people, and could leave them open to further manipulation, control, and abuse from the love bomber.
The majority of us dream of meeting that ‘special person’, and so this fantasy can be a very dangerous thing for both the love bombers and their victims alike.
Enforced Commitment
Following on from the previous section, love bombers will also try to fast forward a relationship by getting their partner to make big commitments – such as moving in together, having children, or getting married.
The thing to remember is that real relationships take time to develop, and these big steps are considered big for a good reason.
While this is not true in all cases, it pays to be mindful about why they want to move so fast, and what they stand to gain from such a commitment.
Boundaries Anger Them
In a relationship, it is important to set boundaries, especially in the early stages when you still very much have your own lives.
Setting boundaries will anger the love bomber, who will see this as an attempt to thwart their control and manipulation.
Someone who actually cares will discuss this with you, respect your opinion, and back off to the agreed extent – and this is important to remember.
Overly Needy & Intense
Love bombers can often be overly needy, and their intensity can be overwhelming for a lot of people.
This is a major sign that something is not entirely healthy in a relationship – and if you find yourself in this position you should examine things more closely.
Remember, while relationships can be exciting, rewarding, and all-consuming in the initial stages, this should never feel overwhelming, unbalancing, or unhealthy.
Final Thoughts
And there we have it, everything you need to know about the practice of ‘love bombing’, and the kinds of people that use it.
It’s true that love bombing, as well as other kinds of abuse and manipulation, can be harmful to the individual, and there are of course numerous ways that it can be utilized to control and cause pain.
Luckily, thanks to wider recognition of these numerous forms of abuse, there are more and more ways to help those in need who might otherwise suffer in silence.
But if you are a victim of love bombing, or indeed any other kind of mental abuse, then be sure to check out what resources are available to help!
Read More about Narcissist Abuse and Domestic Violence
- Sexual Assault vs Sexual Abuse: What’s the Difference
- Understanding Ritual Abuse: A Twisted Belief System
- Healing Journey: Finding Closure After Narcissistic Abuse
- Coping with Emotional Manipulation: Key Tips
- Setting Boundaries with a Narcissist: Essential Tips
- Understanding Toxic Behavior Patterns in Relationships
- Uncovering the Covert Narcissist: Key Signs of A Covert Narcissist
- Covert Narcissists’ Phrases: Things Covert Narcissists Say Uncovered
- Karma Narcissist Quotes: Insights & Retribution
- Detachment and Narcissism: Insights and Tips
- Understanding the Law of Detachment in Psychology
- Drop Charges Against Your Boyfriend: A Guide
- Therapist’s Duty: Report Domestic Violence?
- Qualify for Disability with PTSD from Domestic Abuse
- Can You Drop Domestic Violence Charges? Find Out!
- Get a Restraining Order for Verbal Abuse: Know Your Rights
- Protective Orders for Verbal Abuse: Know Your Rights
- Jail Time for Domestic Violence: How Long?
- Dropping Domestic Violence Charges: A Guide
- Understanding What is a Domestic Dispute
- Learn How to Break a Trauma Bond with a Narcissist
- Discover Your Bonds: Take Our Trauma Bonding Test Today
- Understanding the 7 Stages of Trauma Bond: A Guide
- Understanding the Difference: Trauma Bond versus Love
- Explore Trauma Bonding Quotes – Wisdom in Overcoming Painful Bonds
- Transform Your Life with Expert Codependency Treatment
- Join Codependency Support Groups for Empowerment & Growth
- Journey to Freedom: A Guide to Codependency Recovery
- Recognizing Codependency Symptoms: A Comprehensive Guide
- Unlock Healing with Codependency Therapy – Start Today!
Emergency Numbers
Rape Abuse and Incest National Network (RAINN) is the nation’s largest organization fighting sexual violence: (800) 656-HOPE / (800) 810-7440 (TTY)
988 Mental Health Emergency Hotline: Calling 988 will connect you to a crisis counselor regardless of where you are in the United States.
911 Emergency
The National Runaway Safeline: 800-RUNAWAY (800-786-2929)
Self Abuse Finally Ends (S.A.F.E)
American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, Trauma & Child Abuse Resource Center
Domestic Violence Shelters & Resources
National Center for Victims of Crime
National Coalition Against Domestic Violence
National Network to End Domestic Violence
National Sexual Violence Resource Center
Stalking Prevention, Awareness, and Resource Center (SPARC)
National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) HelpLine: 1-800-950-NAMI, or text “HELPLINE” to 62640. Both services are available between 10 a.m. and 10 p.m. ET, Monday–Friday
National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255); www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org. Or, just dial 988
Suicide Prevention, Awareness, and Support: www.suicide.org
Crisis Text Line: Text REASON to 741741 (free, confidential and 24/7). In English and Spanish
Self-Harm Hotline: 1-800-DONT CUT (1-800-366-8288)
Family Violence Helpline: 1-800-996-6228
American Association of Poison Control Centers: 1-800-222-1222
National Council on Alcoholism & Drug Dependency: 1-800-622-2255
LGBTQ Hotline: 1-888-843-4564
National Maternal Mental Health Hotline: 1-833-TLC-MAMA (1-833-852-6262)
The Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386 or text “START” to 678678. Standard text messaging rates apply. Available 24/7/365. (Provides crisis intervention and suicide prevention services to lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer & questioning—LGBTQ—young people under 25.)
The SAGE LGBT Elder Hotline connects LGBT older people and caretakers with friendly responders. 1-877-360-LGBT (5428)
The Trans Lifeline is staffed by transgender people for transgender people:
1-877-565-8860 (United States)
1-877-330-6366 (Canada)
Veterans Crisis Line: https://www.veteranscrisisline.net
International Suicide Prevention Directory: findahelpline.com
The StrongHearts Native Helpline is a confidential and anonymous culturally appropriate domestic violence and dating violence helpline for Native Americans, available every day from 7 a.m. to 10 p.m. CT. Call 1-844-762-8483.
‘Find a Therapist’ Online Directories
- Psychology Today: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists
- GoodTherapy.org: http://www.goodtherapy.org/find-therapist.html
- American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy: https://aamft.org/Directories/Find_a_Therapist.asp
Canada
- Emergency: 911
- Hotline: 1-888-353-2273
- YourLifeCounts.org: https://yourlifecounts.org/find-help/
UK & Republic of Ireland
- Emergency: 112 or 999
- Hotline: +44 (0) 8457 90 90 90 (UK – local rate)
- Hotline: +44 (0) 8457 90 91 92 (UK minicom)
- Hotline: 1850 60 90 90 (ROI – local rate)
- Hotline: 1850 60 90 91 (ROI minicom)
- YourLifeCounts.org: https://yourlifecounts.org/find-help/
